Week 15: See 5 Concerts in One Week

Here we are at the Ides of the year.  Is that a thing?  Does Ides mean 15?  Should I be capitalizing Ides?

These and many more questions are what fill the air this beautiful spring Thursday.  A perfect day for a drawing.

Today's drawer is the veritable Prince of Sri Lanka and half of the soon to be famous vaudeville comedy troup Preetham and Kumar.

Seen here looking at stage right

And the result, nothing special, but a nice opportunity for this gentlemen to have some fun this week.

Probably shouldn't have waited until Thursday for this one

There we have it.  Of course I'm at the mercy of the fates (but aren't we all) in terms of my choices.  I will endeavor to visit a different venue for each concert, and undoubtedly will see and discover different musical styles and bands.

So stick around as I pull out my tiny notebook, and play musical journalist for a week.

Why yes, it is resting on my crotch, and on an unrelated note I'm no longer allowed in the coffee shop

Thursday:  Dan Croll

No time to waste I quickly perused my options and chose the band playing with the best sounding name.  In this case because it reminded me of Krull the movie.

Genre:   Brit Pop/ShoeGazer
Dan Croll and his band are the answer to the question no ones asked, what would "Flock of Sea Gulls look like today?"

All but one of the band members were British, there was one American though.  Can you guess which?

Hint: It's the guy with the beard

They sang bouncy songs about hearts and loves and sent the many young women in the audience into mixtures of wacky white girl dancing, swooning and frantic picture taking.

Venue:  Larimer Lounge

Ah the Larimer Lounge, once in one of the scariest neighborhoods in Denver, now a hotspot of young professionals, yuppies and hipsters, and the occasional Yupster (which if it isn't already a word should be).

The lounge has held onto its divey soul though, with reasonable drink prices, dingy dark and dank atmosphere, and ever-judging staff, that will make even the hipest guy in town feel inferior about the quality and quantity of his facial hair and tatoos.

Also notable for being the only club to let you sit behind the band.

Your mileage may vary

Audience:  Youngins.  Helpfully identified with a giant black X on their hand, and by their inappropriate excitement at a show at the Lounge.

Case in point

Friday:  Colorado Symphony

What better way to follow up hipster central than with a trip down sophisticate lane.

Genre  Classical Music
Beautiful stuff really, really a shame it seems to be a dying thing, much like looking at the stars the youth seem to have found better things to do.

You have to respect a band that out-dresses it's audience.  And isn't lady Gaga

Also anvil.

Told ya

 Venue Boetcher Concert Hall

Located in the Denver performing arts district, it stands alone as a place for the old to escape the young, the cultured to escape the philistines, the me to escape the you.

Audience Music lovers, npr listeners, old timers, east coasters, country club members, napping children you get the idea.

These guys

This guy

Friday Again:  The Pack A.D.

Surprisingly the symphony isnt really for night owls, so with time to spare, I headed back out to catch the all female, all rock, Pack A.D.

Genre  Riot Grrrl

It's totally a thing, look it up.  Say you took the white stripes and turned them into women (I know, I know), you'd get the Pack A.D.  One part drums and one part guitar, they managed to pull the attention of the fairly drunk, normally aloof Hi Dive patrons, which is no small task.

Annie Leibovitz eat your heart out

Venue  The Hi Dive

Self-billed as the last dive on Broadway, and as "The hipster cave" by me, it is a great place to see a nationally touring band that isn't metal, or a jam band, for $10 or less.  Used to be $5, thanks a lot Obama.

Still the drinks are cheap, the lighting is atrocious, the bathroom is best avoided, and you're usually guaranteed at least one mediocre or better story to tell by the end of the night.

Also, nice it has a little viewing window for the side of the stage

There's that drummer

Audience  Hipsters, homeless people, and some hybrids of the two

Yup

Saturday:  The Infamous String Dusters 

Saturday night rolled around, and it was off to Colfax, Colorado's shame.  To catch a band selected on name only "The Infamous String Dusters" at the Ogden.

Genre  BlueGrass, Jam Band

Well folks, some times you strike out.  It may come as a surprise to you, but I am no fan of the Jam Band.  Granted this was a bluegrass jam band, so they had different instruments than your average phish show.  And, to be fair, they played them very well.  But, still, the Jam Band, or musical wank off as its known in Europe, proved to be quite a chore.

Also, when did Jam bands all start to look like frat boys?

Venue  The Ogden

Anyone who's lived in or around Colorado long enough has to have a soft spot for the Ogden.  They draw bigger acts than the bluebird, but at smaller and better shows than the Fillmore

Like the north star it beckons above the hookers and crack.

Audience  Hippies, as far as the eye can see.

Seriously, everything smelled of stale pot, and patchouli.  Actually, I suspect patchouli might be latin for stale pot.

No picture: just Google hippies

Tuesday:  Nekromantix at the Bluebird

Sneaking in at the last second to finish off the goal, concert number 5, the Nekromantix.  Probably the best Danish, monster themed, psychobilly band touring mid-level venues today.

Famed mostly for the singers Coffin-Bass, and ... well isn't a coffin-bass bad-ass enough?

Genre  Psychobilly

So if you're like me, and you probably aren't, you probably thought to yourself, "Nekromantix, I bet that's a goth show".  The answer is, of course, "nope, psychobilly".  Psychobilly, is an offshoot of punk music and rock-a-billy.  Think if the sex pistols and the stray cats had a baby, and that baby married it's cousin, and had another baby who became a scientologist.  Psychobilly is like the rebellious teenage son of that baby.

Venue  The Bluebird

The bluebird lives further east on Colfax away from the Ogden and dangerously close to Aurora.  It's a nice little club that you can usually see a cheap show at, any night of the week.

Also I think it was the porno theater in "Things To Do in Denver When You're Dead".

More like blue balls am I right?

Audience  Punk Rockers, Rude Girls, Meth Heads good people.  Salt of the Earth.

One of the nicer surprises in life, is that with a couple notable exceptions, the scarier a sub-culture looks the nicer they can be. 

They even let strangers in their group photos

Until next time folks.

Week 14: Dye or Shave Hair

Well here we are a quarter of the way through the year, and back on track.

This week we have Andrew doing the honors, from the fabulous new drawing location on top of the tallest building at the mall.

See that cloudy snowy weather behind him, that's a crime against nature

The result of course is a big ol' punch in the gut, slap in the face, and kick in the nuts.  That's right folks its the trifecta of awfulness.

At what point should a man question his own sanity?

Hey at least its not time consuming.

Sunday Update

Well it's Sunday and no shaving has happened nor dye has touched this curly, ever thinning, head of hair.  I've agonized over what to do, and have narrowed it down to 3 options.

To Shave or Not To Shave

I'll be honest with you friends, shaving is a terrifying thought to me for two main reasons.  What if it never grows back, and perhaps most poignantly, this poem I remember from a child ...

I thought that I had wavy hair

Until I shaved. Instead

I find that I have straight hair

and a wavy head.

-Shel Silverstein  

Seriously what if I have a creepy lumpy head?  I know knowledge is power, but maybe there are somethings we should never know.

Anyway, should I choose to shave, I would probably try to do it as part of some sort of charity.  I'm pretty sure that's a thing.  At least I saw it on the news once.

To Dye by Your Side

So that leaves us with Dye as the most likely option.  Under that we probably have a couple options.

1.  Dye a crazy color, i.e. blue

Nothing screams I'm a 35 year old man with his shit together like blue hair.

2.  Dye a normal color, i.e. brown

I once dyed my hair black and waited an eternity for it to grow out, during which I looked like an inverted skunk.  Needless to say I wasn't exactly a hit with the ladies during this time.

More or less this

Also, serious question, do I have to dye my eyebrows too?  What about other body hair?  When does the madness end?

Sooo to re-iterate, none of the options appeal to me.  And the decision will likely be a last minute one, followed by at least a week of regret.  Regret and hat wearing.

Tuesday: Dye-Day


Darlin' don't you go and cut your hair
Do you think it's gonna make him change?
"I'm just a boy with a new haircut"
And that's a pretty nice haircut
Charge it like a puzzle, 
Hit me wearin' muzzles
Hesitate to die, look around, around, 
The second drummer's drowned
His telephone is found
Pavement - Cut Your Hair


Well it happened.  I walked into my local salon slapped $50 on the counter and said give me the Burt Reynolds.

He has brown hair right?

Then after being asked to leave I found a second salon and politely asked for their help.  Then my friendly neighborhood barber (I can't bring myself to say stylist) and I set off on a hair dying journey.

It was a bonding experience

It was a surprisingly long journey as I found I have an undiscovered super power of being nearly immune to hair dye.  And yet the x-men still don't return my calls.

Finally after 3 rounds of attempted dying we tricked it with this yellow mixture.

I might have a future as a super villain though

And now for the next 6 weeks or so I have brown hair.

Lots of people take selfies in gas station bathrooms don't judge

Until next time folks.  My apologies to everyone who wanted something wilder.

Week 13: Learn to Drive a Manual Transmission & Memorize and Recite "The Raven"

So here we are at lucky week 13, having successfully knocked out 2 last week, we have 2 more this week, the ol' manual transmission, and a return to form, with the delightful "memorize and recite the raven".

Which was drawn today but newcomer to the drawing scene, Mr. Ravi.

He actually just wanted to buy the hat

The result, as mentioned in the title, and at the top of this page of course:

So this one probably is a little strange, but for some back story, I have wanted to memorize this poem for a very long time, and the recital part should be interesting, with some help and some friends this could make for a memorable evening crashing an open mike night.

Anyway more to follow, watch this space, drink ovaltine etc ...

Learn to Drive a Manual Transmission

Seriously screw manual transmissions.

Lesson 1 

Like a wayward teenager, I set off in a parking lot with a kind friend who donated their car and clutch for me to break, wherein I proceeded to jerk and crawl through the parking lot, like an epileptic 5 legged spider.

Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, no video or photographic evidence of this event took place.  Though a lovely lady waiting for the bus was there to laugh at my misfortune, so at least someone had a good day.

What I've learned so far:

• I am not good working two legs independently
• Clutch pedals are heavy.

And some inspiration:

Richard: Is it an automatic or a manual?
Jeremy: It's witchcraft! That's what it is.
-Top Gear


Memorize and Recite "The Raven"

The Why

I've pondered a good 5 minutes how to answer the inevitable question for this challenge.  "Why?"  Followed most certainly by "Why the Raven?".  

So to put these questions to rest here are 3 reasons.

• Public speaking is a pretty big fear, doubly so when you are doing something ridiculous

It still works you just have to project more

• The Raven kick's ass as a poem, even the Simpsons agree, and they never spoof anything that's not great.

They may have taken some artistic liberties

• Uh, I already have part of it memorized, and I'm pretty lazy.

 The What

So what exactly is the raven about, a dude in need of a 24 hour pest control service obviously, but maybe there's more.  Maybe it's about mortality and regret, and my personal favorite hopelessness.

I'm sure if you look you can find a detailed analysis of the meaning, and its not exactly subtle with its symbolism, but I'll leave it to you, dear reader, to come up with your own conclusions.

The Raven
The Raven 

The How

Finally how will this happen?  I know of an open mic night at a bar in the city.  Its usually filled with aspiring singer songwriters hoping to attract women with their oh so sensitive lyrics, and the occasional terrible stand up comic.  So what better place to start.

Now, I could just go up there and mumble my way through it, awash in flop sweat, or I could double down on the stupidity and recruit another party to play the part of the raven.

Of course I will choose the latter.  Not much longer now.

And we did it, on Wednesday, after 4 hours of very painful open mic watching it was finally my turn:

The person to my right is the Raven, sitting lonely

Nerve wracking and terrible, but I survived, with only one 40 second gap where my mind went completely blank.

Pictured:  Panic

Special thanks on this one to everyone who held me to this insane proposition, those who showed up to see the train wreck, and all the poor open mic participants who I think were quite befuddled at the whole experience.

I do have a video, but this site does not seem to like it, so its available on demand if anyone would like to see it, though I don't know why anyone would.  Just let me know.

Week 12: Blow Something Up, Cook My Own Meals For a Week, Learn to Drive a Manual Transmission

Well, its been a couple weeks of radio silence, and I'm afraid your dear narrator has gotten quite behind.  Starting with the lack of being able to blow something up.  Turns out legally blowing stuff up is not really a thing.

But I persevere,   anyway lets look at the timeline shall we, and see just what kind of whole I've dug.

• March 5 - Blow something up is drawn
• March 12 - The first failure of the year, due to weather and other factors blow something up is missed
• March 12 - Cook My Own Meals for a Week is Drawn

It's blurry because its so boring even the camera fell asleep

• Life conspired to get in the way with its obnoxious "obligations" and both Cook my Own meals and Blow something up get postponed again
• March 19 - Back on track at last, the first day of home meal cooking begins.
• March 20 -Learn to Drive a Manual Transmission is Drawn.

At this rate, get a diploma in hotel administration can't be far behind

There you have it folks, like Tom Cruise before me, I suffered a crisis of confidence, but am now ready to get back on track, by trying a unprecedented 3 challenges in one week.

Could be worse I guess

So this is going to be a pretty schizophrenic post as I sort through all the madness. Lets break it up into sections at least

BLOW SOMETHING UP

Yes dear reader, I have not given up, though there have been many delays with weather, and legal issues, and more than a little bit of scaredy-catedness (it's totally a word) on my part.

The plan remains to blow up a pinata, through a means I will not specify here lest I forever lose my chance at top secret security clearance.  With a little bit of luck and cooperation, from March (or Smarch as it should be called) we will knock this one out finally.

We did it folks, after 3 miss fires and much hand wringing something was blown up.  I am trying to figure out how to get the stupid video on here, once I do I will post it for proof.


Okay so here we have the moment just before ignition:

That minion chose a poor place to sleep one off

May be hard to see but that big white blob is actually your run of the mill water bottle, the kind you get as a "courtesy" at car dealerships.  It is quite inflated.  Lets just say mysteriously ...

And then:

Spontaneous bottle combustion is totally a thing

 Kaboom.

Well that's not really accurate, more of a kapow.  Yes yes I know that this is not very impressive and the pinata is still intact.  But it satisfies the goal, and hopefully we will get to revisit it another time.

COOK MY OWN MEALS FOR A WEEK

Day 1:  Ah cooking, friend of the mature adult, enemy of me.   We started day 1 with a fantastic breakfast of fried egg, lunch of peanut butter I bought from the grocery store next to work  and Croissants I also bought at work, and a dinner of banana and pasta.

I'm sure you may be saying to yourself "I don't think peanut butter and Croissants counts as cooking"  well I say to you, my skeptical friend, that what is cooking more than combining two ingredients?

Day 2:  Feeling better about my task at hand I had a wonderful breakfast of egg, now with bacon, and lunch of car warmed pasta, and some more peanut butter croissants (it wasn't very good), and some pasta for desert

So why not just put peanut butter on everything and call it cooking?  Or mix two taco bell ingredients and claim to cook?  You ask?   Well I say to you imaginary stranger, quit being a pedantic jerk.

Oh and how does this not look appealing?

Day 3:  Day 3 consisted of a breakfast of nothing, combined with a lunch of nothing, but a fantastic fully cooked meal of chicken, potatoes and asparagus is on tap for tonight, a bold adventure awaits.

Not pictured, the chicken because I ate it

Day 4:  Day 4 yielded this masterpiece.

That is a hot dog bun, with bacon, jalapenos, and easy cheese.  Watch for it at your local state fair as it will be sweeping the nation.

It's a whole wheat bun for you health nuts

Day 5:   Day 5, had some home cooked pork chops and salad, nothing too spectacular.

I think I earn an honorary instagram account after 5 food pictures

Day 6:  Was some delicious homemade pasta, and baked broccoli, I do not have a picture because its a little known fact that broccoli, actually damages everything near it, including cameras and intestines, but I digest.

Day 7:  Finally Day 7 arrives, with another breakfast of bacon, and a lunch of peanut butter croissants I capped it off with a steak cooked on a frying pan with olive oil, and learned a valuable lesson not to cook a steak on a pan in olive oil while in your underpants.

Ouch.

LEARN TO DRIVE A MANUAL TRANSMISSION

Finally we come to this weeks challenge, the 2nd of the actually improve my life challenges.  Quite boring I'm sure, I will see how many people are willing to let me blow up their transmission in my effort to learn.  Many laughs and embarrassment will be had I'm sure.


POSTPONED :(

Week 10: Blow Something Up

Well here we are week 10, double digits what a ride so far.  After an exciting meal of anything but Sushi it was time for the drawing.  This week the drawer is famous Indian rapper Aniket aka ... AK

This hat has had more hands in it than Paris Hilton.  Zing!

The result, funny enough is one that Mr. Aniket himself suggested.  Is foul play afoot?

Blow something up.  It's time to walk the fine line between mischief and terrorism.  Also, I'm sure this will land me on some sort of list somewhere.  So a big hello to the CIA agent reading this.

So after much collaboration a very detailed plan has been hatched:

It's like Cinco De Mayo and the 4th of July had a baby

That's right the goal will be to fill a pinata with candy and cause some sort of explosion after which much merriment will be had.

Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
Pablo Picasso

So, turns out the government frowns heavily on making things go boom.  As a result, we're going to have to be very vague for this one.

Week 9: Eat Only One Thing All Week

Well it happened, after surviving a week long challenge, were immediately thrown back in another one.

But first the backstory.  Today's guest drawer is none other than Rich, extraordinary man about town.

He kept the hat as far away as possible lest the crazy rub off on him

The result:

So big and foreboding

The Plan

So this one is especially vague, I could pick something like Peanut Butter and Jelly, or something like Sushi that gives some flexibility for the week.

But why do anything sensibly?  Instead I have thrown it up for a vote, whichever gets the most will win the week.  So far we have:

Sushi: 8 Votes
Tacos: 7 Votes
Beer Battered Onion Rings: 4 Votes
Chipotle Vegetarian Burrito:  3 Votes
Tangerines: 3 Votes
Pez: 2 Votes
Corn: 2 Votes
Asparagus: 2 Votes
Vegetables: 1 Vote
Walnuts: 1 Vote
Avacados: 1 Vote
Pork: 1 Vote
Pizza: 1 Vote
Chicken Biryani: 1 Vote
Carrots: 1 Vote
Loafs: 1 Vote
No Doze & Mountain Dew: 1 Vote
No Processed Food or Sugars: 1 Vote
Raw Oysters: 1 Vote

The Winner:  Sushi
So begins the week of sushi for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Sushi:  Its What's for Breakfast

Sushi:  Its whats for Lunch

Sushi: Its whats for dinner

Sushi its whats for ... brunch?

Tuesday Update

It's been a long long week, I hate sushi, my stomach hates it, my intestines hate it.  I can smell it always, it seeps through my skin like a terrible cologne.  Cat's follow me around, and Norwegians now love me.

Today is the last day, it will be celebrated with a big sushi lunch, to compliment my sushi breakfast and maybe a light sushi dinner.

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
Voltaire

Sushi its whats for passover

Week 8: Dress Like a Different Person

Ah week 8, two to the third.  Lets see what horribleness is in store.

This week the lovely Shweta graciously volunteered to do the honors.

Employing an interesting strategy of picking 8 at a time.

It occurs to me now that the title of the post kills any suspense of the result.  Nevertheless ....

The Result

Oh that's not so bad

God damn it

So this is the first of the week long challenges to be drawn, clearly since I drew on Wednesday it will only be a 6 day week.

So, what does this mean really?  Dress as someone different.  I don't mean like a pirate or a ghost, but more like someone you might see on the street, that is completely different than me.

Marshall: They just pay me to drive the limo, sir. I'm not here to tell you who you are.
Joe Banks: I didn't ask you to tell me who I am.
Marshall: You were hinting around about clothes. That happens to be a very important topic to me, sir. Clothes, Mr...
Joe Banks: Banks.
Marshall: Banks. Clothes make the man. I believe that. You say to me you want to go shopping, you want to buy clothes, but you don't know what kind. You leave that hanging in the air, like I'm going to fill in the blank, that to me is like asking me who you are, and I don't know who you are, I don't want to know. It's taken me my whole life to find out who I am, and I'm tired now, you hear what I'm saying?
-Joe vs. The Volcano


Soliciting some suggestions yielded:

• Business Guy In Suit
• Hipster
• Cowboy
• Punk Rocker
• Hippie
• Meat head
• Bro (also known as chad/brad)
• Sweater vest guy
• Canadian Tuxedo Guy
• Old Man Tourist
• Sports Guy

There are many more options, much more than a week could possibly yield.  So at least there is some freedom.

Thursday:  Business Guy

So lets start out slow, and hopefully the least embarrassing to have to come to work wearing.  The classic business guy.

Markings
You can spot the American Business man by his collared shirt, slacks and neck tie along with shiny black shoes.  Sometimes after molting you may find him without the tie and instead with a sports jacket and plain black tee shirt.  

Habitat
You can find him in offices across America, but sadly with casual offices and working from home, the American business mans number are dwindling.

Related Species
First Date Guy
Interview Guy

Mating Call
"Let me give you my card"

Johnny American Businessman, ready to press palms and make deals

Check out Mr. Businessman
Oh, ho ho
He bought some wild, wild life
On the way to the stock exchange
Oh, ho ho
He got some wild, wild life
-Talking Heads, Wild Wild Life


Friday:  Hipster

Ah the hipster, never before has a sub culture inspired so much hate and confusion.  Hipster has become synonymous with doofus.

Markings
Identifying a hipster is easy but incredibly hard to quantify.  Like the chameleon the hipster is constantly changing its outward appearance to stay more hip than its brothers.  Some easy markings to identify are the ironic tee shirt, elaborate facial hair, and very frequently incredibly tight fitting jeans, and some sort of hat.

Habitat
Hipster are relegated almost entirely inside urban centers, and more frequently in the Art districts of said centers.  For a successful night of hipster spotting search for non-descript "Dive" bars or coffee shops with names that don't sound like coffee shops (Thump, Mutiny Now etc ...).  Additionally if there is a band playing you've probably never heard of, odds are good that hipsters are plentiful inside.  If you see a cloud of smoke and pretention in front of such any of these establishments then you've succeeded.

Related Species
Bohemian
Ducky from Pretty in Pink

Mating Call
"I'm not a hipster"

Pretty good, but it needs more ironic tee shirt

That's more like it

Put on whatever makes you attractive 
if it's not you, then do it for the sake of fashion 
your friends like a certain you?-, that's who you have to be 
that's who you've got to be 
-Pedro the Lion, When they Really Get to Know You They'll Run

Saturday:  Meat Head

The Western Meat Head is truly a curious breed.  Forever working out, strutting around looking for a fight yet a fan of the fashion accessory from bracelet to necklace.  They are the answer to the question "Is it possible for men to have daddy issues?".

Markings
You can spot the meat head by their tribal tattoo's or chinese symbols, and tap-out or affliction tee shirts 2 sizes too small.  They stay tan remarkably year round, and are known to favor gold jewelry.

Habitat
The meat head spends most of his day in or around the gym, or stores that sell protein powders.  During mating season they can frequently be spotted at clubs.

Related Species
The Bro/Chad/Brad
The Guido

Mating Call
"You wanna move your jump rope bro?"

Oh yeah, the bracelet matches the belt

Sunday: Sports Fan

The sports fan is an interesting study.  Probably the most common type of person in this list, also very commonly a member of other subcultures.  But for today we are trying for super sports fan.  Such a fan of sports they must advertise their love of their favorite teams whenever possible, even in the off season.

Markings
Very easily identified by apparel decorated with the logos of their favorite teams or the names of their favorite players.

Habitat
Usually found in sports bars, or in their basement or car waiting patiently on the phone to call into the current sports talk radio program, or typing away on a sports message board.

Related Species
Sports fan encompasses so much, there really is no related species.

Mating Call
"Woooooo"

Go team(s)!

Monday: Canadian Tuxedo

The Canadian Tuxedo, is essentially jeans, jean shirt and jean jacket.  Usually accompanied with a mustache, but given the time constraints that part of the outfit is missing.  Born sometime in the 1980's the wearer has disappeared some from day to day life, but spotting one always brings a smile to anyone's face who sees them.

Tonight I'm going to take you to the whorehouse to lose your virginity

Peter: Well Chris there may be more lap sitting then there's been and I might answer most of your questions with a story but mostly my mustache tells people that there's a 90 percent chance that I am poorly educated. That I keep upscale porn magazines out in the open. And that I listen to the Little River Band with giant headphones.


Markings
Jean, Jean Shirt and Jean Jacket.  Enough Said.

Habitat
Small towns, construction sites, strip clubs and rodeos.

Related Species
Guest Actor on Roseanne
Denim Dan
Michael Moore

Mating Call
"Hold my beer"

Lets make a documentary about Flint Michigan

Tuesday:  Suburban Cowboy

Finally we have reached the end of an interminably long week, and saved maybe the best for last.  The suburban cowboy, never ridden a horse, but can rock a mean line dance, and drop a pretty penny on some fancy boots and hat.  

Markings
Easily identified by cowboy boots, cowboy hat, cowboy shirt, wranglers, decorative belt buckle and for special occasions a tasteful bolo tie in the shape of a cow skull or the state of Texas.

Habitat
Anywhere there is budweiser, chewing tobacco, country music and women with gigantic hair and tight jeans.

Related Species

Actual Cowboys

Mating Call
"Ptueey"

Hop on into my Hyundai baby