Week 47: Join the 100 shot club

Hello madame internet. 

When you think of the internet, do you imagine it as a woman?  I certainly do, I'm picturing a middle aged Kathleen Turner, as a part time brothel/circus owner.

Anyway,  madame internet, do you hear that?  The sound of high fives, of voices scratchy from endless whoooing?  Do you smell, the lingering scent of alcohol and roofies?

Well that's because we are taking a trip down to fratville tonight, to try to accomplish something utterly shameful and stupid.  Tonight we are attempting to join the 100 shot club.

What is it?
The 100 shot club, is a fictional club that you join by drinking 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes.

Why is it?
Because 100 is a nice round number, and because if it wasn't beer, the club hangout would just be the cemetary.

Or maybe you were asking on a deeper level.  Well, in a sense, not all of us can climb Mt. Everest.  Or run a marathon.  Or even watch all of the planet of the apes in one sitting.  But we still want to feel special.  So we invent things only the laziest beer drinkingest person could possibly win.

Why you?

I know you're thinking, I'm a guy who's got fairly well put together.  At least that's the vibe I try to put out.  Well you may be surprised that I wasn't always the very mature adult that I am today.  There was a time in my 20's where I had heard about this challenge, and attempted it with my good friend Anthony.

And I failed terribly.  I believe I only made it to 60 or so of the shots.  So, this being the year of unfinished business, I have thrown this in the challenge bucket so I can close this lingering, very important, chapter of my life.

I'm on board, let's get started

Great, glad to hear it.

The Math

 100 Shots
1 Shot = 1.5 oz

The shot glass of record:

Good Advice

1 Beer = 12 oz
100 Shots = 150 oz = 12.5 beers
100 Minutes = 1 hour and 40 minutes.

 The Who

Unfortunately,  due to scheduling constraints, Anthony was unable to assist me in trying to achieve it a 2nd time.  However, Mr. Fucking Eric, was available to observe the attempt.

I hope this will be the picture they show on the news when he inevitably disappears under mysterious circumstances

 

So I had the teammate I needed.  The venue was going to be my place, but there ... was ... a .... smell.  So Eric generously volunteered his house.


The Plan
 
The plan was simple.  The failure the first time, was not from the alcohol, indeed the alcohol is consumed too fast to really hit you before the challenge is over.  No, my friend, like the world famous car wash killer Sudsy Phillips said, "It's the foam that kills you"

You see, the first time, we sat and poured one shot at a time, every minute and took it.  And around 60, all I had was a stomach full of foam.

So, being, older, and theoretically wiser, I figured I could pour all of the shots first.  Then as the time went on the beer would be less foamy and I would be less pukey.

The Before Shot

The during shot

Still more during

So close

That there is the face of a champion

Yay?

So I did finish all 100 shots, but there is some controversy I'm afraid to report.  In the changing of venues. I forgot about the 1/2 beer in the 12.5 needed.  And In my purchasing of beer for the challenge, I wanted a nice variety.

My fridge is now 90% alcohol and 10% condiments

Well, I accidentally bought Coronitas.  These are apparently tinier bottles of Corona that exist for some fucking reason.   Anyway, those bottles are only 7 oz, and there were 2 used in the challenge.

The result, is I am about 15 oz short of succeeding.  Doing some math I can say that I made it to 90 shots, which is good enough for government work, and good enough for me.

The Verdict
I'd recommend against it.  Too much beer hits you all at once after the challenge.  And you pee a lot.  There are no trophies to be had, and your facebook brag post, will receive no likes.

But sometimes we all need to do something stupid, lest we forget where we come from.