The Weekly Resolution Chronicles: Week 14: Dye or Shave Hair

Well here we are a quarter of the way through the year, and back on track.

This week we have Andrew doing the honors, from the fabulous new drawing location on top of the tallest building at the mall.

See that cloudy snowy weather behind him, that's a crime against nature

The result of course is a big ol' punch in the gut, slap in the face, and kick in the nuts. That's right folks its the trifecta of awfulness.

At what point should a man question his own sanity?

Hey at least its not time consuming.

Sunday Update

Well it's Sunday and no shaving has happened nor dye has touched this curly, ever thinning, head of hair. I've agonized over what to do, and have narrowed it down to 3 options.

To Shave or Not To Shave

I'll be honest with you friends, shaving is a terrifying thought to me for two main reasons. What if it never grows back, and perhaps most poignantly, this poem I remember from a child ...

I thought that I had wavy hair

Until I shaved. Instead

I find that I have straight hair

and a wavy head.

-Shel Silverstein

Seriously what if I have a creepy lumpy head? I know knowledge is power, but maybe there are somethings we should never know.

Anyway, should I choose to shave, I would probably try to do it as part of some sort of charity. I'm pretty sure that's a thing. At least I saw it on the news once.

To Dye by Your Side

So that leaves us with Dye as the most likely option. Under that we probably have a couple options.

1. Dye a crazy color, i.e. blue

Nothing screams I'm a 35 year old man with his shit together like blue hair.

2. Dye a normal color, i.e. brown

I once dyed my hair black and waited an eternity for it to grow out, during which I looked like an inverted skunk. Needless to say I wasn't exactly a hit with the ladies during this time.

More or less this

Also, serious question, do I have to dye my eyebrows too? What about other body hair? When does the madness end?

Sooo to re-iterate, none of the options appeal to me. And the decision will likely be a last minute one, followed by at least a week of regret. Regret and hat wearing.

Tuesday: Dye-Day

Darlin' don't you go and cut your hair
Do you think it's gonna make him change?
"I'm just a boy with a new haircut"
And that's a pretty nice haircut
Charge it like a puzzle,
Hit me wearin' muzzles
Hesitate to die, look around, around,
The second drummer's drowned
His telephone is found
Pavement - Cut Your Hair

Well it happened. I walked into my local salon slapped $50 on the counter and said give me the Burt Reynolds.

He has brown hair right?

Then after being asked to leave I found a second salon and politely asked for their help. Then my friendly neighborhood barber (I can't bring myself to say stylist) and I set off on a hair dying journey.

It was a bonding experience

It was a surprisingly long journey as I found I have an undiscovered super power of being nearly immune to hair dye. And yet the x-men still don't return my calls.

Finally after 3 rounds of attempted dying we tricked it with this yellow mixture.