This week the lovely Shweta graciously volunteered to do the honors.
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| Employing an interesting strategy of picking 8 at a time. |
It occurs to me now that the title of the post kills any suspense of the result. Nevertheless ....
The Result
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| Oh that's not so bad |
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| God damn it |
So this is the first of the week long challenges to be drawn, clearly since I drew on Wednesday it will only be a 6 day week.
So, what does this mean really? Dress as someone different. I don't mean like a pirate or a ghost, but more like someone you might see on the street, that is completely different than me.
Marshall: They just pay me to drive the limo, sir. I'm not here to tell you who you are.
Joe Banks: I didn't ask you to tell me who I am.
Marshall: You were hinting around about clothes. That happens to be a very important topic to me, sir. Clothes, Mr...
Joe Banks: Banks.
Marshall: Banks. Clothes make the man. I believe that. You say to me you want to go shopping, you want to buy clothes, but you don't know what kind. You leave that hanging in the air, like I'm going to fill in the blank, that to me is like asking me who you are, and I don't know who you are, I don't want to know. It's taken me my whole life to find out who I am, and I'm tired now, you hear what I'm saying?
-Joe vs. The Volcano
Soliciting some suggestions yielded:
- Business Guy In Suit
- Hipster
- Cowboy
- Punk Rocker
- Hippie
- Meat head
- Bro (also known as chad/brad)
- Sweater vest guy
- Canadian Tuxedo Guy
- Old Man Tourist
- Sports Guy
Thursday: Business Guy
So lets start out slow, and hopefully the least embarrassing to have to come to work wearing. The classic business guy.
Markings
You can spot the American Business man by his collared shirt, slacks and neck tie along with shiny black shoes. Sometimes after molting you may find him without the tie and instead with a sports jacket and plain black tee shirt.
Habitat
You can find him in offices across America, but sadly with casual offices and working from home, the American business mans number are dwindling.
Related Species
First Date Guy
Interview Guy
Mating Call
"Let me give you my card"
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| Johnny American Businessman, ready to press palms and make deals |
Check out Mr. Businessman
Oh, ho ho
He bought some wild, wild life
On the way to the stock exchange
Oh, ho ho
He got some wild, wild life
-Talking Heads, Wild Wild Life
Friday: Hipster
Ah the hipster, never before has a sub culture inspired so much hate and confusion. Hipster has become synonymous with doofus.
Markings
Identifying a hipster is easy but incredibly hard to quantify. Like the chameleon the hipster is constantly changing its outward appearance to stay more hip than its brothers. Some easy markings to identify are the ironic tee shirt, elaborate facial hair, and very frequently incredibly tight fitting jeans, and some sort of hat.
Habitat
Hipster are relegated almost entirely inside urban centers, and more frequently in the Art districts of said centers. For a successful night of hipster spotting search for non-descript "Dive" bars or coffee shops with names that don't sound like coffee shops (Thump, Mutiny Now etc ...). Additionally if there is a band playing you've probably never heard of, odds are good that hipsters are plentiful inside. If you see a cloud of smoke and pretention in front of such any of these establishments then you've succeeded.
Related Species
Bohemian
Ducky from Pretty in Pink
Mating Call
"I'm not a hipster"
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| Pretty good, but it needs more ironic tee shirt |
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| That's more like it |
if it's not you, then do it for the sake of fashion
your friends like a certain you?-, that's who you have to be
that's who you've got to be
-Pedro the Lion, When they Really Get to Know You They'll Run
Saturday: Meat Head
The Western Meat Head is truly a curious breed. Forever working out, strutting around looking for a fight yet a fan of the fashion accessory from bracelet to necklace. They are the answer to the question "Is it possible for men to have daddy issues?".
Markings
You can spot the meat head by their tribal tattoo's or chinese symbols, and tap-out or affliction tee shirts 2 sizes too small. They stay tan remarkably year round, and are known to favor gold jewelry.
Habitat
The meat head spends most of his day in or around the gym, or stores that sell protein powders. During mating season they can frequently be spotted at clubs.
Related Species
The Bro/Chad/Brad
The Guido
Mating Call
"You wanna move your jump rope bro?"
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| Oh yeah, the bracelet matches the belt |
Sunday: Sports Fan
The sports fan is an interesting study. Probably the most common type of person in this list, also very commonly a member of other subcultures. But for today we are trying for super sports fan. Such a fan of sports they must advertise their love of their favorite teams whenever possible, even in the off season.
Markings
Very easily identified by apparel decorated with the logos of their favorite teams or the names of their favorite players.
Habitat
Usually found in sports bars, or in their basement or car waiting patiently on the phone to call into the current sports talk radio program, or typing away on a sports message board.
Related Species
Sports fan encompasses so much, there really is no related species.
Mating Call
"Woooooo"
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| Go team(s)! |
The Canadian Tuxedo, is essentially jeans, jean shirt and jean jacket. Usually accompanied with a mustache, but given the time constraints that part of the outfit is missing. Born sometime in the 1980's the wearer has disappeared some from day to day life, but spotting one always brings a smile to anyone's face who sees them.
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| Tonight I'm going to take you to the whorehouse to lose your virginity |
Peter: Well Chris there may be more lap sitting then there's been and I might answer most of your questions with a story but mostly my mustache tells people that there's a 90 percent chance that I am poorly educated. That I keep upscale porn magazines out in the open. And that I listen to the Little River Band with giant headphones.
Markings
Jean, Jean Shirt and Jean Jacket. Enough Said.
Habitat
Small towns, construction sites, strip clubs and rodeos.
Related Species
Guest Actor on Roseanne
Denim Dan
Michael Moore
Mating Call
"Hold my beer"
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| Lets make a documentary about Flint Michigan |
Tuesday: Suburban Cowboy
Finally we have reached the end of an interminably long week, and saved maybe the best for last. The suburban cowboy, never ridden a horse, but can rock a mean line dance, and drop a pretty penny on some fancy boots and hat.
Markings
Easily identified by cowboy boots, cowboy hat, cowboy shirt, wranglers, decorative belt buckle and for special occasions a tasteful bolo tie in the shape of a cow skull or the state of Texas.
Habitat
Anywhere there is budweiser, chewing tobacco, country music and women with gigantic hair and tight jeans.
Related Species
Actual Cowboys
Mating Call
"Ptueey"
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| Hop on into my Hyundai baby |
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