Week 7: Chop Down a Tree

After a brief respite from the crazy looks like we are right back in the thick of it.

This weeks special guest is none other than famous latin singer Kacee:

 

Pictured here, respecting and fearing the hat

 And the result of course:

On the back it says "then apologize to environmentalists"

Lets see how this one plays out.

Sunday Update

I received a few leads on some trees available for cutting.  Many I was told are big enough that they can't be hugged.

The worst part is it didn't even call the next day

Here are the opportunities thus far:

• A large tree in Denver
• A large tree in Golden
• A large tree in Evergreen
• A suggestion to ask if I can cut down a beetle kill tree in the national forest (no reply from the forest service)
• A suggestion to ask if I can cut down a Christmas tree early (no reply as well)
• A couple reasonable sized trees in Denver, and Eastern Colorado

The methodologies

Of course I could use a chainsaw or a regular saw, but the wording of the challenge does say Chop.  Call me a romantic if you must but the thought of hacking away a tree with an axe is just damned appealing.  So an axe will be used.

I mean look how happy he is

The controversies

Environmentalist Concerns
Lets address a few of the controversies that have sprung up over this.  Concerned reader you will be happy to know I am not chopping down a live tree, only dead or dying trees.

The Amount of Effort
I have heard from many that this will take much longer than I expect for even a small tree.  I am skeptical, but I have received estimates from 20 minutes to 3 hours for a simple 12" diameter tree.  Feel free to place bets on this.

City Rules
I have been unable to track down what exactly the rules are for chopping down trees within the city.  Some say you are free to do as you please, others say you need a permit, or depending on the size need the city to do it for you.

The Plan of Action

The first tree has been located, with a 2nd and potentially 3d also available.  The tree is in beautiful ::cough:: Strasburg Colorado, and is a 25' tall dead Ash tree.

I am happy to say that the necessary tools have been procured and I am the proud owner of an $11 dollar axe.

Pro Tip:  If you ever want to ride the elevator in your apt complex alone bring an axe with you

To avoid the tree landing on something it shouldn't, like a house, or me, the tree will be secured with a rope pulling it in the desired direction of felling.  Then this Tuesday afternoon, in my best lumberjack apparel I will attack the mighty tree like a drunk Paul Newman attacking a parking meter.

Until then some, perhaps inappropriate inspiration

“Catch! calls the Once-ler.
He lets something fall.
It's a Truffula Seed.
It's the last one of all!
You're in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.
And Truffula Trees are what everyone needs.
Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.
Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.
Then the Lorax
and all of his friends
may come back.” 
― Dr. Seuss, The Lorax


And s

Success!

So Tuesday afternoon, I set off, dressed in what I thought was appropriate lumberjack attire.  Even going so far as to grow my best lumberjack beard on short notice.

Point of Interest:  The only thing that separates hipsters from lumberjacks is the axe

As you can see behind me is the tree.

I thought they should get to know each other before getting intimate

Yes, yes I know its not a very big tree.  But acheiving a goal on a technicality is still acheiving a goal.


Without delay I set about the task at hand, chopping away.  Despite being a small tree, it is still quite a bit of work.

Choppity choppity

 Finally after 30 or so minutes of fun and exciting chopping:

Probably should have said timber

And so ends week 7.  Lets give it a solid C.  Maybe later we'll find a bigger more satisfying tree:

In truth the forest hears each sound
Each blade of grass as it lies down
The world requires no audience
No witnesses
Bright Eyes - Everything Must Belong Somewhere