Week 28: Eat 50 Hard Boiled Eggs

Well it's Monday of week 28.  And I am behind the 8 ball, or in need of one.  What a difference a few words make.

But I'm back at altitude and ready to get caught up.   This weeks drawing was held in absentia, with the venerable Robert, data mastermind doing the honors.

The hat is suspiciously missing.  This is why you don't outsource America!

The result, a controversial one.

That's right, in honor of the one and only Cool Hand Luke, I will undertake the goal of 50 hard boiled eggs.  Though because I've only been arrested for jaywalking, and not cutting the heads off of parking meters I can't come close to old Hand's level of Cool, so I'm giving myself a day.

If you haven't seen this masterpiece, you are doing yourself a disservice.


[Luke won a game of poker on a bluff]
Dragline: 
Nothin'. A handful of nothin'. You stupid mullet head. He beat you with nothin'. Just like today when he kept comin' back at me - with nothin'. 
Luke:
Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand. 
-Cool Hand Luke

There is some debate as to whether this is a fatal amount of protein and/or cholesterol.  But to be honest I'm more concerned with how long its going to take to boil 50 eggs.

Either way the plan is to attempt for tomorrow so keep an eye on the papers for the headline I keep chasing "Idiot dies from stupidity".

The Challenge
Ever the planner, I set about my preparation the night before around 10 PM, picking up the supplies:

2 - 18 packs of eggs
1 - 12 pack of eggs
1 - 6 pack of eggs 

Next step was to boil, nothing quite as enjoyable as deliriously boiling 50 eggs at midnight.

The midnight boil sounds like a movie ... or medical condition

The Big Day

Like Mount Everest.  Mount Eggerest

Eggs 1-3:  Started out strong with a quick good morning snack of 3 eggs, setting a solid pace.

Eggs 3- 8:  Throughout the rest of the morning preparation managed to get even more eggs going.  Including two eggs for the road.  Lesson learned:  driving while peeling is very dangerous.

Eggs 9-13:  After getting to work and loading up the office fridge with individual bags of 5 eggs, I started on the first pack.  The pace definitely slowed as the joy of office meetings distracted me from the clearly more important tasks, I finished egg 13 just around noon.

Eggs 14-23:  Realizing I was quickly falling behind, I went on a marathon egg munching experience.  Eating eggs in my meetings, at my desk, and in my car on lunch break.  Needless to say, but I will anyway, I attracted a certain amount of office attention.  The common consensus?  Probably going to have kidney failure

Eggs 24-28:  All the talk of kidney failure may have psyched me out some, as the last 5 took over 2 hours to get through, even with the addition of hot sauce and siracha.  Still, past the halfway point it was time to leave work.

Eggs 29-32:  Here is the wall.  Even knowing that the schedule was tight, my appetite was firmly turned off.  Took a trip to the gym, to take advantage of the insane amount of protein.  Taking a mid gym break to eat some eggs, is also probably not something I would recommend.  Finished number 32 around 9:30

Eggs 33-45:  At this point timing was critical, I had only 2 hours to get 18 eggs down, 9 an hour.  I set about my task this time pre-peeling to save time, my goal was to eat 3, then wait, then repeat.

The Stench of Failure and Egg Farts
I'm not sure if eggs are a natural sleep aid, or if my metabolism was shutting down, but as I worked my way through the final eggs I kept nodding off, finally falling asleep on my couch, with 5 uneaten eggs on my coffee table, and a small mound of egg shells.  I'm sure if a photo could have been taken it could be used as propaganda against America.  Or the cover of the dvd copy of a very depressing independent movie.

The failure was there I awoke past midnight, my goal missed, the tally ended at 45.  I finished the last 5 in a very sad breakfast, nearly killed myself with sulpher gas in the morning, and set about my day as a defeated man.

Conclusion
The bathroom hurts, I'm very stinky, and I may have ruined Easter forever.   But 45 is enough, to call it a C-, I will not be attempting this one again.

I wanted to be Cool Hand Luke, but will have to settle for Luke Warm Nick.