This weeks challenge, is brought to you by friendship, and the letter A.
You see, a dear friend, colleague, and early supporter of the hat, Rich, is leaving our mutual place of employment. And in honor of him, and to ensure the half way point is memorable, we bent the rules, and let Rich choose something directly from the hat.
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| They took longer finding something, than that old lady and her checkbook at the grocery store. |
The result, a challenge worthy of cringe and danger.
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| Complete with a coffee stained backdrop |
That's right, though it does not say, the implication is "in one day". More specifically, the goal was to be in one work day.
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but your empty
Holding out your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm goin blind
And i'm braindead virtually
Coffee And Tv - Blur
The Plan
After much deliberation, I opted to go for 8 16 oz cups throughout the day. I toyed with the idea of buying a gallon box, that they sell along with your 13 bagels. But that would result in at least half a gallon of cold coffee, and the stupid challenge is hard enough as it is.
The Particpants
Surprisingly, there was a lot of interest in this challenge, and we had 5 participants: Rich, Myself, Tom, Mike and Joe. Rich, of course, got mysteriously sick the day of the event, so it was left to the remaining four.
So lets break down the day shall we?
Cup One
Because I am a very smart, and forward thinking individual, I made sure to get only 3 hours of sleep the night before. Because heart strain, is the new black ... or something.
Anyway, the first cup was from Peets Coffee at the brisk morning hour of 7:30. Drank and enjoyed without issue, enjoyable and tasty.
Cup Two
Cup number two came from whole foods, still on pace at about 9 AM. At this point everything was still going great, my productivity was high, I felt good and I was in the lead.
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| Rome could have been built in a day if they had more coffee |
Cup Three and Four
Falling behind schedule, due to actually having to work, I decided to double fist it, and picked up 2 more cups from whole foods. After finishing these, my body had begun to sense that something was amiss. Typing became very difficult as my fingers quit the band to start their own side project.
Thoughts raced and collided in my brain, and I may have stopped blinking.
At this point, both Tom and Mike dropped out, mike reaching 48 oz, And Tom making it to 68 oz. Very respectable offerings from both.
Cup Five
Hitting, what can only be described as a wall of anxiety, I decided to ease off the gas for a bit and waited an hour before returning to cup 5. I picked cup 5 up at the corner bakery for the worst lunch break ever.
At this point the effects cam in waves, with calmness and productivity interrupted by light headedness, jaw clenching, and a little bit of the shaky hands.
Cup Six and Seven
At this point, I decided just to power through. Any more slacking and I know I would crash, and I'll be damned if I have to retry this insanity again.
Cups six and seven came from the charming people at Oh! Coffee, a little shack outside my work. I employed a new strategy of drinking from both cups alternating, to trick myself.
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| So it turns out pyramids are harder to make than I thought |
Cup 8
At this point, I was walking a tight rope between stroke and heart attack. Joe had already won the competition finishing his gallon. I decided if I was going to die from my own stupidity I'd rather do it at home, so packed up my last cup and headed home to finish it when I wasn't having a panic attack.
After about 2.5 hours I felt calm enough, and chugged cup #8 completing the gallon, and cementing this day in history as one of the stupidest things I've ever done.
The Stats
So, gang, lets take a look at the numbers.
Number of 16 oz cups - 8
Number of Ounces - 128
Average Milligrams of Caffeine Per Cup - 660
* Edit: I read this wrong, its actually about 330 mg per an average Starbucks 20 oz
Total Milligrams of Caffeine - 5280 (this is just a strange coincidence)
* Edit: This is also incorrect as per the above note
Bathroom Sum - 9 (This is the number you get after adding up the 1's and 2's, I wont specify how many of each)
The Aftermath
Wide awake, zero appetite, too much energy with no mental capabilities. It was like being Lindsey Lohan.
After a battle of wills with my bed and pillow I finally was able to reach sleep around midnight, and dreamt happily of chamomile tea, and ice water.
The verdict? Don't do it kids.
Until then, this one's for you Rich.
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