Week 18: Fly in Something that's not an Airplane

You know I've never really liked the number 18.  I know its a milestone in people's lives, the beginning of being tried as an adult and whatnot, but, as a number, it's always been exceptionally mediocre.  Also, the phrase "exceptionally mediocre" is fantastic.

This deep thought was brought to you by the unrelenting boredom of a Thursday in April that is entirely too cold.

Yesterday a new drawing was held with former carnival barker Jon.

He's actually 10 feet tall

The question on everyone's mind was of course, would something be drawn to alleviate the cold spring duldrums"?

At least its more interesting than a kick in the crotch.

There we have it.  Some key words to focus on are "Fly" and "Not an Airplane".  Reaching out for help and general google searching yielded the following options.

Blimp
Helicopter
ParaGlider
HangGlider
Parachute
Hovercraft
Chair tied to balloons
Hot air balloon
One of those flying squirrel suits

All great options, though there is some debate as to whether floating, gliding or hovering count as flying, but whatever.

Of course, once again, the early year proves to be craptastic, and immediately hot air balloon is out because its too early in the season; paragliding and hang gliding all depend on the weather as well.

So the list grows narrower, as the days fall by the way side.  Will I find a non airplane?  Will I have the balls to ride in it?  Will that mysterious rash ever fade?  Will excessive body hair ever come back into fashion?

Some of these questions and more may be answered, so check back in.

Tuesday Update:  Success!

It totally counts

Tuesday Update: Success!  Again!

Okay, so big bird missile apparently doesn't really count.  So I set off for the next best feasible thing.

A helicopter.

If you're in the middle of the ocean with no flippers and no life preserver and you hear a helicopter, this is music. You have to adjust to your needs at the moment.
-Tom Waits

After some quick Googling, I realized I should stop wasting so much time, so I hit the internet and found the first helicopter place I could find.  Then after seeing their prices, I found another helicopter place.  Because, when it comes to flying for the first time in a potentially dangerous contraption, budget should always be your number one concern.

I found the company Front Range Helicopters located in beautiful-ish Loveland Colorado.   I scheduled an appointment to ride in, and actually fly my very own helicopter.  Then, after calling in to work with the best excuse yet, I set off for my early morning date with Bernoulli.

Turns out the folks at Front Range Helicopters are fantastic people, I met my pilot/teacher Casey right away.

This picture may be out of sequence

He taught me many things about the ways of flying and math and weather.

I think it means buy Ovaltine

 Then after posing for a quick photo shoot ...

You can tell its not real because we're indoors
... and the photo was taken from outside the chopper

We set off in chopper bubba (I forget its real name)

It seats two comfortably, with ample space for bricks that may be shat.

Interior:

Only slightly less complicated than my ex-girlfriend

The rest is history, a beautiful tour of the local landscape that only CEO's and God to get to see.

Followed by 10 minutes of pure fear as I was given the controls.

Pictured: premature relief at not killing us

Followed by 5 bonus minutes of fear as Casey demonstrated what happens when the engine fails in mid air.

The Verdict:

A fantastic experience, that a handful of pictures and some half baked wit can't do justice.  I heavily recommend you try it.  Just remember to bring extra strength antiperspirant to handle the terror sweat.